I have always wondered if the moon followed everyone home the way it does me.
Its light brightly shining in the night sky as it guides me.
Its beauty has a way of making me feel calm, and at peace. Giving me hope that there will not always be such great negativity.
Will there be a time in all the changing stations, where there is reprieve?
My son often says when it gets dark, “mom, the moon has turned on its light to brighten the sky!” At the tender age of three, it often baffles me as to how it is even possible for him to be as advanced as he is. He thinks so simply yet so deeply of all around him. He queries greatly what he knows not and seeks understanding for the confusing. He connotes the moon’s light with that of a night light, illuminating and brightening the sky for all to see. He is one of my greatest achievements, he is my blessing. He is my moonlight.
Last night, as I travelled home with my pair of thirties I was enamoured by its fullness, its glowing beauty and my son’s ability to also be intrigued by it.
In this life, there can be so much negativity that it is easy to get swallowed by the darkness. As a single-parent I have been faced with many a dark night. At times I wonder, is there anyone else going through these severely hard times Lord? Or do you see me as some sacrificial lamb set up for the slaughter? As I write this I am completely engulfed in negativity. I can only hope that after the night I have been enduring the moon’s light would render me some amount of peace. For the past few minutes he has been banging on the gate, yelling for my son who was peacefully asleep. Not sure if the disturbance was in attempts to wake him from his slumber or just to be a nuisance. Either way it felt as though the four walls of the room I was in came closer and closer to crumbling. A familiar sense of discontentment has been swirling. An incredibly deep pit has been dug in my gut.
#1 flesh and blood he says, it’s laughable really because you don’t have a clue as to how he eats, sleeps, or breaths. But because we live in a world that is deeming itself to be so politically correct he is just deemed as a terrible ‘father’ (that’s according to one counselor). It’s often tough when you must share your child, and it’s even more difficult when the person you are forced to share with is absolutely impossible.
Court scenarios are so uncertain. They make you question your moral compass. They make you question all that you know to be true and just. They make you question whether or not you have some level of sanity. They make you question when you will come back to some semblance of peace.
Prayer has been helping me. Though the moon shifts its stance, it is still there. Though it may not always remain full it is there. Though I am feeling less that whole it still guides me. My being feels a little out of whack but there will be goodness and greatness to follow soon.
Though the battle has not yet commenced there will be some reprieve even if it doesn’t come in the exact form I want it to be.
My pair of thirties and I bid you a see you soon…