Sometimes I wonder if I’ve forgotten how to be a woman. I mean women are suppose to be soft, sensual, sweet, charming, intelligent, strong, wait before I go off on a tangent women are to be a wide variety of things. So let me focus on the woman I was before my pair of thirties and juxtapose in contemplation of the woman I am now.
I honestly don’t shave as much as I used to.
Is that gross? Or just too much information? I mean, before there would be constant date nights, constant trips just for the sake of being random, but since my love bugs well I have no real interest in doing much else. Oh dear, have I turned into a granola cruncher without knowing it? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, no, there is no forest of deep retreat, it’s just not all as well manicured as your garden variety lawn speak.
I rarely get made up.
Today I went in town to see my dad, and he was standing next to some random lady I say random because well I don’t know her, and as adult as my father is in his adulting, he is not suppose to be standing around with some woman. No he and my mother aren’t together, no they never will be, no I do not wish it to be so, but what’s it to you anyway? Moving right along. So, there he was standing beside random lady. He beckons to her that I am his daughter, she turns and says my she is beautiful. Now yea I’m gorgeous I know, thanks random lady but the point is today was one of those blue moon moments as I rarely take the time out to attempt in even the vaguest fashion to get dolled up. So much so my father turns and says are you going on a date? You do look beautiful today. Ugh no dad, if you must know I am not but I did choose to be dolled up for myself. A blue moon moment honestly. Womanhood, oh how I beseech for your safe yet swift and speedy return!
I cannot tell when was the last time I had a sexual urge.
I mean, when you have children your body and their parts change in so many ways, it’s like it’s the same house just with rearranged furniture I guess you can say. But I honestly am not sure if I’m still woman because I have no intent or urge to develop or conduct feelings of such sublime kind. hahaha. I mean really though, none. Did my womanhood disappear? If so where should I go looking for it?
I used to be this ball breaking, gung-ho, fear nothing and no one type of woman. But motherhood changes some of us, some remain the selfish, God awful women that they are. But I was changed. I mean I’m okay with that but it’s just that sometimes I wonder what it would have been like… Uhm not really because my pair of thirties have made me tough as Valyrian steel! I have had parts stripped away but now that I really think of it, for the better. Alls I needa do now is figure out how to balance the flirty, cutesy, sweetheart that still lingers with the badass of a mother that has most certainly taken the fore!
Mom’s live in your truth! There may be days when the poo smells horrendous and the screams are far too loud to deem bearable, we may wonder. It’s okay to ponder, it’s okay to even be emotional about it. Just don’t unpack all your ish and leave it on the floor.
Womanhood is beautiful in all its facets. Be strong, be you, be true!
Mom of a Pair of pretty darn awesome thirties!