The Dark side of delivery thereafter.

The dark side of delivery is way beyond the labour, way beyond the pushing, way beyond the actual delivery. It’s in fact in the months to come when the baby is there and you are tired but haven’t slept. There are some people who think only weak people suffer post-partum or even some dark moments of dissociation  but guess what it can happen to anyone.

Not because you cry when your little one cries or feel sad and overwhelmed after a long day to come home to a crying baby means you’re weak. I remember after having my first child, I was still in University and after being so accustomed to studying all night and sleeping all day I thought I could continue the same. Boy was I wrong! Man, can I tell you that I had the most dissociate episode  one night because I hadn’t slept for a day and a half but still yet I was being a mother. Each moment I dozed off he would cry and I would have to be up. This one night I got up alright and went straight into my mother’s room to tell her to get my baby because the baby in my room is not him. I proceeded to take my phone out, scrolling through pictures, frantically explaining that the baby in the room appears nothing like my beloved son in my photos. I didn’t know who he was, he looked nothing like I thought he should. Things could have gone worse, he could have gotten hurt.

Luckily for me, my mother was here to take him and allow me to get some rest. I must say in the morning when mom told me about what took place  I was not only appalled, I was downright scared. Because in your lucid mind, well rested and in control, you couldn’t manage or imagine even anyone harming your child let alone doing it yourself in a moment of down right confusion. A similar situation happened with my second 30 as due to the stress I was going through at the time due to circumstances beyond my control, I had not slept. I was so hyper-focused on all that was going wrong I didn’t take the time to stop in make things right. As a result of that, I was so tired and I went to my mom’s room asking her if she had seen the baby, bearing in mind she was in my arms. Lack of rest as a new mom can be a very dangerous situation. Don’t take it for granted that oh, three months have passed so anything that could possibly go wrong can no longer happen. No, it is imperative to rest.

The most troubling aspect of all this was the fact that I was tired, knew I was, thought I could work through it. I ignored what my body was showing me. Which resulted in me being in a bad head space.

How do you cope with stress, lack of sleep and a newborn?

  • Ask for help; when you need help, ask. It is really difficult for a new parent to cope with life as it were and balance it with life as it now is.
  • Sleep; this is critical to your mental health.
  • Eat well. Proper eating, feeds and nourishes your mind and your body.
  • Talk to your doctor. You aren’t the first, they can help or if not they can refer you to someone who can.

Don’t think you have to go at this alone. There are so many moms out there experiencing the same. So share, reach out, seek to inform.


From my pair and I we bid you adieu.


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